So the point of this = simply to post an Onew/Minho fic. :/ Remind people that the pairing still exists...... hate my writing all you want, I dunnnnnnn care lmao. XD
So. This is just something I randomly started to write. I'm undecided if its finished or not. lols. It's just idk random? AU fic, and my apologies to those who have read this before. XD
Standing outside his apartment, Jinki fishes for his keys buried somewhere in the depths of his bag. He’s used to seeing the shock across people’s faces when they see his apartment for the first time. Just because his shirts are never ironed and are usually a little creased doesn’t mean he can’t keep his apartment clean and tidy.
Maybe it’s the fact that his hair is always a mess, and his clothes are less than perfect, but it makes him smile a little on the inside when he surprises people with the sharp contrasts of his life. He’s used to it now, the snide comments and the small mocking smiles.
“Oh, I can imagine what your apartment is like,” Gwiboon would hover next to his desk and Jinki would see her eyes lingering on the empty fast food box sticking out of his office trash can. She didn’t need to say the rest, because Jinki knew what she was thinking. Jinki just smiles blandly back at her, because actually Gwiboon hasn’t got a clue. But Jinki prefers to keep it that way, private.
It’s easier if they all think they know him like the back of their hands, if they think he’s totally predictable (he is in a way). But he likes it better when they go out for dinner, and Jinki surprises them by ordering something completely unexpected like salmon gravadlax or veal. It satisfies Jinki to see the shocked expressions when he does that, knowing they expected him to pick out the obligatory chicken dish. But the fact is that they don’t know him at all, all they see is the front, the cover he offers them at work. Sometimes Jinki feels like he’s a house, all white and bland on the outside, but hiding the interior from the world.
Jinki’s not sure how he’s perfected this, but somehow a lifetime of being private has turned him into this person able to hide his true feelings and personality easily. Perhaps it comes with being a total introvert and extremely private, but either way Jinki finds it to his advantage. He prefers if no one really knows his background, and he dodges the simple questions easily, (How old are you hyung? Where did you go to school?) his lies are well constructed and they hold him up firmly, like the wooden support beams in a house.
Which is why this is so awkward, the feeling of someone hovering just behind his shoulder. Jinki wants to turn and swat that annoying presence, as if it was an insect. But Jinki can’t swat him away or take back the offer that Jinki wishes he had never made. Especially when he turns and sees those large thoughtful eyes watching him, and somehow it feels as if he knows what Jinki is thinking. Muttering to himself Jinki pushes his hand deeper into his bag wishing he could find his keys, so they didn’t have to stand outside on the balcony any longer.
He did feel slightly responsible, when his cousin had come rushing into his office begging him to help him out. But then, Jinki never expected his cousin’s friend to have grown so damn tall and so damn good looking either. It’s not really fair at all, Jinki thought he was cute and handsome back then, and now he’s even more attractive. If Jinki wasn’t used to seeing models and gorgeous people at work, he’d probably be blushing every time he had to look at Minho. It just feels like seeing him again is making his stupid little crush come rushing back, the water flooding a dry creek. Still it’s all a little strange really, to turn and find him standing there when Jinki’s used to going home alone. He’s not a stranger to sharing his space in general, but in this context, in his apartment it is not common. And that quite frankly scares Jinki, because he’s not sure if he’s ready to show this side of himself to anyone, even if it is his cousins best friend.
Jinki breathes in a sigh of relief when his fingers close over the cool metal, and in seconds he has the door unlocked. It’s grasping the knob and opening the door that sends shivers down Jinki’s spine. The last person who came home with him, Jinki swallows, and tries to push that thought firmly from his mind. Just because he has a stupid crush doesn’t mean Minho feels anything for him. In fact, Minho probably views him as the strange cousin of his friend. Jinki tries not to shudder as he yanks the door open, because now he can’t get the thought out of his head of what Minho’s body would look like.
“Come in,” Jinki mumbles flapping his arm in the air, meant to be a gesture of welcome, but Jinki senses he probably failed with that. It doesn’t help that he’s still imagining what Minho’s shirt hides, and he’s sure his cheeks are a little red.
“Thanks, hyung,” Minho replies softly in that deep voice of his. It makes Jinki cringe a little, because he remembers that voice from years ago. The first meeting, when Jinki was still awkward and he visited home, unsure how to act around his cousin who he hadn’t seen for years, and Minho had been there too. It grates a little, because Jinki realises Minho therefore knows more of Jinki’s past than he would like. He can still remember the way the two boys eyed him, as if he had said he had come from Mars, and how they had been so unsure how to treat him. Jinki could remember the way his palms grew sweaty, and how the way Minho looked at him made his legs feel weak. Back then he hadn’t understood it, not yet anyway.
“I didn’t think you’d remember me, hyung,” Minho flashes Jinki a smile, and Jinki feels irritated because who would forget Minho? Minho, the tall slender male, who looks like he walked straight out of some catwalk, with his long legs and muscular torso and let’s not forget his perfect face, those large brown eyes that seemed to be full of warmth, and magic. Instead Jinki just shrugs, he doesn’t want to mention how attractive Minho has become, how he’s grown from that gangly (but even pretty back then) youth into this gazelle. It makes Jinki feel as if he missed some vital step of growing up, why did he never grow out of his awkwardness and turn into something like a swan, somehow he just seems to be stuck at the ugly duckling stage.
“I didn’t recognise you until you smiled,” Minho comments and Jinki turns in the hallway, wanting to ask if Minho’s trying to be funny. Jinki knows he hasn’t changed ever, but then he sees the serious look in Minho’s eyes. It just makes Jinki feel awkward again, and he rubs his hands together, wondering why he even agreed to this.
“Oh,” Jinki blinks and studies Minho’s face carefully as he watches Minho look around. He’s waiting for that look of surprise, but to Jinki’s annoyance it never comes. It makes Jinki grit his teeth together and breathe out slowly, and he glances around to make sure nothing is out of place. The white bland walls greet him silently, and Jinki relaxes when he sees that there is nothing incriminating anywhere. His laptop is not on the table, his papers are nowhere to be seen. His apartment looks empty and blank, and Jinki feels relieved that nothing of himself is showing to anyone. In fact Jinki gleefully thinks to himself that a sheet of paper would probably reveal more than his apartment.
“Hyung, I’m really sorry for this,” Minho apologises, “but I had nowhere else to go.”
“I know,” Jinki nods, “It’s fine really Minho.” Jinki decides to keep the words to himself, ‘just don’t tell anyone else what my apartment is like, or about me.’ That might be a bit much he figures and instead he walks over to the fridge reminding himself to be polite. Reminding himself that it would not be appropriate to jump his cousin’s friend, especially since Jinki is mostly just lonely.
“You need to decorate,” Minho suggests over his fourth beer, and Jinki just blinks back at him. His apartment is his sanctuary, and Jinki privately thinks it’s perfect the way it is.
“All this white space and walls, it’s not healthy.” Minho smiles, and Jinki can’t help but smile back and wish Minho wasn’t so damn good looking. The blandness of his apartment only seems to make it harder to look away from Minho, and Jinki really doesn’t want to like him again.
“I like it,” Jinki says simply, forcing himself to look away from Minho and turn back to the television. Jinki knows he should ask questions, but it’s the one thing he wants to avoid because he doesn’t want them deflected back to him. So instead Jinki lets the silence settle and it unnerves him a little because it stops feeling awkward, and Jinki can’t understand why it’s more comfortable to have a stranger (okay, his cousin’s friend that he had a stupid crush on) in the house than his family. Bitterly Jinki knows it’s partly because of his brilliant ability to push people away unconsciously, most of the time he doesn’t mind but sometimes he wishes he didn’t always do that.
“But it’s plain.” Jinki turns to stare at Minho, confused he doesn’t even remember what they were talking about.
“Your walls, hyung.” Minho reminds him, with another faint smile.
“Yeah,” Jinki nods, figuring there isn’t much else to say, and he does what he does best which is kill the conversation.
“Do you leave them plain so they reflect your bright smile and you can dazzle everyone with it?” Jinki feels a jolt in his chest as Minho blinks, and in those words he feels a tug of happiness until he realises what Minho really means.
Jinki can’t help the laugh that flows out from his mouth, and he wonders when Minho picked up a sense of humour. Jinki remembers him being all too earnest and serious and never joking, but he can see that that has clearly changed.
“Funny,” Jinki grins across at him, “you mean to show how dull I am?”
“No,” Minho frowns, “I was being serious hyung.”
“That’s nice,” Jinki replies absentmindedly, “I don’t understand why you’re even commenting on my smile.” Jinki blinks, he’s barely even smiled in the hour that Minho has been there.
“Wait, hyung do you mean…” Minho trails off, leaning forward to put his beer down, and Jinki stiffens wondering what he’s about to say.
“You never realised I work in the same office as you?”
Jinki tries to keep his mouth shut, and his surprise to himself but he fails completely. Instead his mouth opens wide and he just manages not to spill his beer down his front. Real subtle he congratulates himself. But Minho looks amused and Jinki somehow feels guilty, he knew he wasn’t overly observant but the fact that he missed noticing Minho sets his radar off, surely if he didn’t notice someone as good looking as Minho then there really was something wrong with him.
“No,” Jinki whispers feeling a little ashamed of himself, really he must try to be more observant he vows.
“It’s fine hyung, I’m not near you anyway, and you’re always busy. But that’s why I talked about your smile. You really haven’t noticed have you?” Unconsciously Jinki finds himself leaning forward, wondering what the hell Minho is talking about.
“Pardon? Noticed what?”
“Oh for example, Minjung, you know her? She works for Jiyoung, anyway, how Minjung has a massive crush on you?” Jinki blinks trying to remember a Minjung and then he remembers, the shy, soft spoken smiley girl who is extremely polite and who is always bringing him coffee and biscuits in the morning. Jinki stiffens and remembers how Jonghyun had made some snide comment about him getting biscuits and Jinki hadn’t understood, he thinks he does now.
“Oh,” Jinki blinks across at Minho, “No. I can’t say I noticed.” Jinki doesn’t feel like pointing out how he never thinks anyone likes him because he can’t recall the last time someone actually did. To say he’s given up on dating or love is an understatement.
“I was actually surprised you lived alone hyung,” Minho continues and Jinki wants to sigh wondering where this will go. It hurts a little to hear words like that, because it feels mocking. Jinki wants to point at himself and laugh, like anyone would really like him. Okay Minho said Minjung did, but Jinki doesn’t quite believe him. It’s hard to believe something like that from someone who looks as good as Minho does.
“Half of the office has a crush on you hyung,” Minho adds in that deep voice, and Jinki wishes it was anyone else but him saying this. In fact he wishes Minho would just shut up, it’s starting to annoy him the way he keeps on rubbing it in Jinki’s face. Why doesn’t Minho just be honest, because these jokes are starting to smart and Jinki wonders where the polite, earnest young Minho went.
“And I suppose the whole office has one on you?” Jinki replies without thinking, only to find Minho beaming across at him and leaning in close. He wants to ask where this is going but seeing the way Minho smirks the words slip back down his throat. Jinki’s starting to regret letting Minho stay here, and it was all because of curiosity and nostalgia and just to see how Minho had changed, if he had changed.
“Oh, are you admitting something hyung?” Jinki feels as if his throat is closing in on him, and he realises what he said too late.
“No,” Jinki swallows trying to stay calm, “I meant the females, all of the females have one on you, I suppose.”
“Pity,” Minho sighs softly, and Jinki wonders if that look in his eyes is disappointment but he thinks he must be imagining it.
“Because I’d prefer the attention of the males, but we’re not talking about me.” Jinki chokes and looks up, wondering when Minho had shifted so damn close to him. Jinki tries to breathe, it’s starting to feel awkward now with the way Minho looks at him, as if he knows all of his secrets and can see right into the recesses of his brain.
“Anyway I was saying hyung, you don’t realise how that smile of yours disables people.”
“Pardon?” Jinki blinks, straightening up so he’s almost level with Minho’s eyes and he juts his chin out firmly, “I disable people? Excuse me, but I’ve never seen anyone become physically incapable in our office because of me.” Minho rolls his eyes and sighs again and Jinki wonders how they even got onto this topic.
“Okay, okay. I mean your smile makes people fall for you,” Minho shrugs, “in fact it should be banned it’s far too distracting.” Jinki feels his head spinning and he wonders vaguely if he’s had too many beers or maybe it’s Minho who is drunk.
“Um, okay. I’m going to go to bed,” Jinki mumbles, standing up quickly but it’s not fast enough because Minho’s hand is suddenly on his wrist. Jinki tries to ignore the warmth and how good it feels to feel human contact after so long. It’s so hard to pull his hand free but Jinki does it, but then Minho is clinging to him. Jinki stiffens feeling Minho’s body wrapping around him, he feels trapped but the last thing he wants is escape.
“I’m sorry hyung, I lied.” Minho whispers into Jinki’s back, and he feels the resistance flee, leaving him defenceless and oh so ready to be invaded. Jinki can’t remember the last time someone hugged him or touched him. Jinki shuts his eyes and touches Minho’s hands cautiously. The worst part about it, is that he’s wanted this for years so now it’s too hard to turn back and walk away.
“But I couldn’t stand it anymore,” Jinki shivers feeling the Minho’s lips slip under his shirt, heated flesh hitting his skin until his knees feel weak and unstable and Jinki feels like the only place he can be right now is bed.
*-* hello... myself yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaah... I'm insane wooohoooooooooooo